Category: Life Purpose (Page 1 of 5)

Chapter 22 (The Parenting Experience)

April 23, 2025 / Callie Page / 2 Comments

Parenting. Are you ready for this next group of blogs?

Parenting is a subject that most find difficult to talk about. It’s a topic I can’t genuinely discuss with very many people. Everyone has emotional opinions tied to the parenting decisions they’ve made. Me included.

Parenting is hard, and there is no hard and fast rule book. We all wish there was one “right” way to do it all, but the truth is, there’s not. Life is different for everyone. Yes, we all have our painful experiences and we all experience joy, but the way we interpret those pains and joys is filtered through our very own childhood experiences.

We parent in direct reflection of those memories.

Some choose a way completely different from how they were parented and some fall in line with their upbringing almost exactly. Sometimes we do that subconsciously, and sometimes we are aware of the reasons behind our choices, but we all embrace what we “know”.

For example, when my girls asked to color their hair, my immediate reaction was “no, not until you’re 18.” Now, if I wouldn’t have taken a step back and considered why I immediately said no, then it would be law in my house. However, I was aware enough at the time to do a little soul searching on this subject. I realized that my mom didn’t let us dye our hair before we were 18 and she had several reasons for it.

I fell right in line, and chose the same path. After some reflection, I realized that I didn’t value her reasons the same way that she did, and that I didn’t need to say no to dying hair. I didn’t actually care at all.

Now, dying hair doesn’t matter at all in the grand scheme of life, but imagine that kind of reaction with something of importance. I made a vow to myself that (as much as I could) I would not allow myself to only act on gut reactions any longer. I would think through my answers with my kids. I want to make sure that I answer based on what I want to value and not on the values of others.

Parenting my 6 children has taught me that lesson over and over again. My assumption is that God led me through those instances so that I would see Him a little clearer (LONG before I knew Him). He presented me with something I truly cared about (parenting) so that He could show me the importance of thinking through deeply meaningful life situations. Ultimately, through those stories and those experiences, it led me one step closer to Him.

Chapter 21 (The Other Possibility)

April 16, 2025 / Callie Page / 0 Comments

When I was a sophomore in college I had to do an internship over Christmas break at a child behavioral center in Des Moines, IA. I was currently going to school in Canton MO. The distance between the two is around 200 miles.

When I called to tell my parents that I would be doing this internship, my mom immediately said, “well dad and I will buy you a plane ticket so that you can fly there and not have to worry about driving all that way.”

At the time we didn’t have GPS on our phones. I would have had to read a map, and navigate on my own across a couple states in places I’ve never been. I’m not sure it would have been a good experience for me to struggle through that without a cell phone, but at the time, I really thought I should have been old enough to try.

I’m 100% aware that my parents didn’t mean any harm when they suggested that I fly, but it felt like they were saying that they didn’t trust me and that I wasn’t smart enough or capable enough to figure it out. That’s the way I had interpreted it anyway. They just bought me the ticket and took me to the airport.

For over 20 years, I equated their buying of the plane ticket with them not having any confidence in me. Just recently, while sitting in Hawaii with some of my friends sipping coffee in the cool hours of the morning, I was able to let go of that interpretation of that experience.

My friend, Brandi, said, after she heard the story, “Callie, that’s not how I see that at all. I think your parents meant nothing more than they didn’t want you to have to be nervous about driving all that way, and that they could fix that for you with a plane ticket.”

I know it sounds crazy, but her interpretation of that set me free. I had never thought of it in that light. Brandi couldn’t believe that I had seen it any other way. That’s the only way that she was able to see it. And for me, there was no other reality other than the way I had been viewing for the previous 20 years.

The realization of my potential misinterpretation of that event, changed so much for me. I started thinking of all of the experiences of my life and my assumptions about how others felt in those stories.

I came to the conclusion that I didn’t want to assume that I knew everything about everyone’s actions and motivations anymore. Most of us hope that we aren’t that way, but think back to the last time you were upset at someone else. Is it possible that the other person didn’t have the intention that you assumed they had? Is it possible that the whole situation came from something they were dealing with and had nothing to do with you? Is it possible that they said/did those things because they assumed that you wanted them to? Is it possible that there was no malicious thought at all? Is it possible?

I now think it’s always a possibility.

There’s a shirt in our store that may be one of my favorite ideas because of exactly this. The shirt is a simple 3 dots on the front for the points of ellipses, and the back says, “There’s Always More.” This little card comes with every shirt. It’s my reminder of who I want to be…

Chapter 20 (The Losing of Life)

April 9, 2025 / Callie Page / 0 Comments

Losing a baby is hard. Hard isn’t the right word actually. I’m not sure there is a word that could do the feeling justice. Losing a baby is something I wish no one ever had to understand.

I’ve had a couple of miscarriages over the years, and the pain from the miscarriages both physically and emotionally have left a scar. I have 6 children and I cherish each of them in their own unique way. Which means the way my heart works, the two that I lost will never be able to be discovered by me, and that hurts deeply. The way they laugh, or cuddle, or fight back, their favorite books or food, I’ll never know any of that about them. That hurts my heart. They needed to be known by their momma.

The moment I found out about their existence in the world, I started making a place for them in my heart, my home, and our family. They already had an identity, and they couldn’t even really be seen on a screen yet. They were my babies. Just exactly like my other babies are my babies. How does a person let go of that?

Maybe I don’t. Maybe that’s ok.

One thing I thank God for is the ability to be a woman. Those babies don’t get to exist in the human world, but I was the person that God chose for them to be with for as long as they were here. I got to carry them, and love them, and make a place for them. He chose me for that. I’m so grateful that He chose me.

Even though my heart hurts without them here, my joy is greater than my pain. They belonged to me and to God. I got to be a part of that equation. That makes me feel like I was special to them too even though I never got to tell them how much I cherished them.

I had NONE of that peace and joy around my losses before I had Jesus in my life. There isn’t anything more difficult than going through those losses without faith. There just isn’t. The pain is magnified by 1000.

To anyone who has to live in this kind of pain currently, I’m sorry. I love you.

Chapter 19 (The “Dupe” It Mentality)

April 2, 2025 / Callie Page / 0 Comments

When I was a kid my dad gave me the nickname, Dupe. This came from my most repeated phrase, “my dupe it”, which meant “I’ll do it.” This “I’ll do it” mentality lives in me still. For as long as I can remember I’ve been trying to show the world that I can do it. No matter what “it” is, I want to be able to say “I can.”

My need to be independent and accomplish things on my own, make my own decisions, form my own opinions, and be respected for me and me alone, has been a cross that I’ve always had to bear. This is probably one of the reasons I kept the idea of a savior at arms length for so long.

My need to feel independent stems, in part, to my birth order as well. I am a middle child. I’ve always wanted to be a person who doesn’t need anything from anyone else because if I could do that, then when I love them, or want the best for them, or make a choice to have goodwill towards them, then it could be more pure. If I first needed something from someone else, then loving them back would feel a little more transactional.

For some reason I’ve always wanted to show unconditional love. (I’ve never been very good at it, but I sure wanted to be.) I never wanted anyone else to think I had other motives. Hence the need to not need anyone else.

Wow. For all the psychologists and therapists out there reading this, how many years can you work with this train of thought?!

Anyway –

Because this is a place I come from on a deep soul level, you might not be surprised to know that it’s very important to me that my children understand my need for them to chart their own course, make their own choices, and be independent of Brad and I’s influence. It’s a big part of our parenting style.

My kids have voiced their opinion about the things that Brad and I could have done differently in our parenting over the years. One of the things that they wished we would have done more of is help them to make decisions. They’ve mentioned more than once that they wished we would just make choices for them when it came to them trying to decipher the “right thing to do.” We’ve honestly tried to stay out of it.

We hear the stories about the friends, the boyfriends, the coaches, and teachers. We know what’s going on in their lives and how sometimes things get uncomfortable and sticky in their relationships, but we try to only listen and not to give directives. It’s so hard sometimes, especially when someone does something to hurt them or when they’re hurting someone else. It’s so very hard to sit there with our mouths shut, but we try to make it a priority.

The funny thing is, they tend to be harder on themselves than we would be on them anyway. It tends to work out that way each time.

This “I’ll do it” mentality, although I’m not super proud of my stubbornness, created in me the need to allow our children to feel and navigate their independence. My opinions and decisions are meant for me, and I reap the consequences of my actions. I just want to make sure they get the same chance.

It’s been a big part of my story.

Chapter 18 (The M-I-L)

March 26, 2025 / Callie Page / 2 Comments

So my mother-in-law is an incredible human. She will probably be embarrassed by the fact that I’m going to write this whole blog post about her, but I’m going to do it anyway. She has taught me one of the most important lessons of all…unconditional love.

You know how most people roll their eyes when the word “mother in law” is spoken? Well, not me. I have no idea how or why I was so stinking lucky, but that woman is one of the coolest people I know.

I’ve told you that her family is amazing, and their love is all encompassing, but I haven’t told you that she is the oldest of the 6 siblings that make up that family. Her parents, GG and Grandpa GG, are two of the most influential people not just for their children, but for many many people they may not know that they’ve touched. They were a strong presence in my life while they were here, and their daughter, Linda, carries that influence in the loving ways that they always did.

I just recently realized that I had a front row seat to some of the most forgiving and fulfilling love that a person can bestow upon another person.

You see, her son, her ONLY son, married a girl that was an outspoken atheist and that directly conflicted with the single most important part of her life. Jesus.

Furthermore, I was raising her grandchildren!

Most grandparents know how precious grandchildren are, and how grandparents want only the best for their grandchildren. Here I was, raising her most precious gifts from God in a home where their mother didn’t understand or appreciate her number one priority.

You know what she did with that knowledge for over 20 years?

She loved me.

She never once told me what I “should” do or how I “should” act. She never made me feel guilty or less than for anything at all. She never made suggestions as to how to raise her grandchildren. She never asked me to believe in God, or honor her religion.

In fact, even when I would, point blank, ask her a question and want her opinion on raising her grandchildren, she would just say, “oh Callie. I think you’re doing great.”

She’s ALWAYS had a smile, a hug, an ear, and an open kitchen table for me. She was and still is a reservoir of a human. Yes, I said, reservoir. Think about that word, and you’ll understand exactly the kind of person she is.

About a year ago, when I was in the first few months of being able to believe in God, I had so many new emotions and concepts to think through. I realized what she has always been in my life, and I thanked her for her genuine kindness, patience, and unconditional love.

It was when I was thanking her that I realized the gravity of true Love. Her firm foundation in the love of Jesus, has always been her greatest strength. Her love for me was a direct result of her love for Jesus. He has made her the person I’ve always longed to be.

…And He gave me her as a mother-in-law…

That gift is not lost on me.

I thank Him everyday for her.